Starting Over
He opened the apartment door
New paint smells like old regrets
Hoping for salvation
Finding cold surrender there instead
He once thought that reading On the Road was the same as being free
Living half his life inside a thought, inside a dream he could not be but did believe
You said, “All the stars are cursed
And time’s a ghost complete unto itself.
All this light preceded thought—”
The fullness of the universe revealed
Once were sunsets, silhouettes of pain with children still to raise
Nothing gained, nothing earned or lost but what you cannot see or try to be
It came to him one summer day
A notion that he turned into a dance
He opened the apartment door
New paint smells like old regrets
Ninth Hour
I haven’t slept for now three nights
My back so sore, the gnawing fright
I feel you breathing next to me
The whisper of some first decree
Before the sun comes up again
I build a fire and mill the grain
Should I fetch water from the well?
These days it’s getting hard to tell
I take the same road up the hill
That road I walk each day until
I pass the markets filled with souls
Whose spirits seem so bought and sold
Look, my hands still bear the marks
From years of hewing wood and bark
I’ve worked my fingers to the bone
Without a single thing to show
In the distance I can see the shapes
Empty wills ordained to break
Lone bodies matted by the sky
Who curse the gods before they die
The nailing of raw flesh to boards
Is muted by the hooded horde
Who’ve gathered here again today
To mock the dead or kneel and pray
I square my hips and hoist the frame
These days they all just feel the same
There’s nothing but the empty sound
Of borrowed time on borrowed ground
As evening redness fades to night
All at last forsake their life
We haul their bodies to the ground
The bandits and the falsely crowned
I made my bet and lost the war
I think of you: my sweet encore
To every day I bore the pain
Of everyone who hangs in vain
I haven’t slept for now three nights
My back so sore, the gnawing fright
I hear you breathing next to me
The whisper of some first decree
Hermès Scarf
You wear your sin in chains around your neck
And tattooed over scars on your left wrist
Let’s count the ways you hide behind
That Hermès scarf you bought with last month’s rent
I can smell the sweet scent of Amarula
As you mouth the words to “Come As You Are”
Playing softly in this mise-en-scene
You chase down your Paxil with a smile
CHORUS
I am so in love with provocation
The kind you carry like loose change
I am so in love with you
Your hopeless point of view
You trip and slur your way upon the truth
Roll that rock up the hill, and do it all again
You recite our grocery list like a hymn:
Milk, some eggs, and goldfish for the kids
Somewhere you forgot to act; I forgot my line
It takes a lot of guts to fold your hand
So creeps in the petty pace from day to day
I grab my shades and sip a Bulleit neat
CHORUS
Write Me a Love Song
She said, “Write me a love song not one of those sad songs you always sing
We just had us a baby, and we shouldn’t dwell on them things:
Grown men whining ‘bout bad times in drunken rhymes, lover’s crimes, and blue eyes cryin’ in the rain
Just tell me you love me and that you’ll hold me through all of life’s pains”
He said, “Kiss me and touch me tonight, make me feel like a man
Cause this old world’s got a way of bruising me that only you understand
I keep thinking ‘bout hard times with easy rhymes, truth’s lies, and how whiskey eases my pain
Just tell me you’ll love me and that our heartaches are never in vain”
He likes old books, stiff drinks, and folk singers who don’t sing in key
She laughs at his bad jokes and lets him win some when they disagree
Now he’s over thirty; she still talks dirty, but they wouldn’t dare change a thing
And there’s a song in the way she moves he never could sing
It cost him so little to show her he loved her, but the words weren’t free
And that guitar he’d pawned twice weren’t shaped right for soft melodies
So he dreamed up a young love and wrote of the first time he saw through the fear in her eyes
And he sang her that love song, made vows that time only buys
She said, “Write me a love song not one of those sad songs you always sing”
Blockader’s Prayer
Intro
Might you tender me some mercy
Might you harbor me some grace
May we beat the devil swiftly
May we sail from this place
To that Paradise in Glory
Where the mountains smoke at morning
Where the river run forever
And the whiskey shines like gold
Prelude
It was once upon a harvest moon
Dogs were on her trail
Running through the pines and rain
A cheated lover’s tale
Two bodies stone cold silent
Lay witness to the void
Delivered to the darkness
Something deep destroyed
Act I
She was born in East Kentucky
In a haunted, cruel farmhouse
She learned sin from watching daddy
And hunger thereabouts
She left home wide-eyed and bitter
Went chasing silver tongues
Led by stars, fueled by fire
Estranged and young
Act II
War taught him desperation
Guilt gripped hold his soul
He came back missing something
Itching to be whole
He spent two years on the needle
And another on road
Met men of sin and wisdom
Who promised him some dough
Act III
She married for convenience
Grateful to be gone
He married her for beauty
Something he could own
All the gold and silver tarnished
In mansions of despair
They both were missing something
You could feel it in the air
Act IV
On a cold night in September
The river nearly flood
On her waist she bloused a pistol
In her heart there beat cold blood
He heard the door kick open
Reached quick to grab his gun
She emptied out the chamber
Whispered softly, “It is done.”
Death Row Blues
Pour me some whiskey cause my mouth is dry
Pour me some whiskey cause my mouth is dry
Don’t my heart ache too, man; that ain’t no lie
Lean in a little closer; gonna tell you why
Lean in a little closer; gonna tell you why
My little gal left me and ran off with some other guy
Went and got me a pistol, took a midnight prowl
Went and got me a pistol, took a midnight prowl
Set off to find the man that took her and get her back anywhichhow
Went down to the river; washed my hands and soul
Went down to the river; washed my hands and soul
Took my pain and all my hurtin’; put ‘em down in a hole
Pour me some whiskey cause my mouth is dry
Pour me some whiskey cause my mouth is dry
Don’t my heart ache too, man, and that ain’t no lie
Multiverse
Part I
In another universe I’m
Lost by the roadside
I’m helpless and going blind I’m
Begging for more time
In another universe I’m
Loved beyond my years
I’m shameless and cavalier I’m
Branded by fear
In another universe I’m
Dreaming of being free
I’m washed away at sea I’m
Sad being me
Part II
In another universe I’m
Running from the law
I’m getting closer to the call I’m
Gallant and flawed
In another universe I’m
Babbling in tongues
I’m flying near the sun I’m
Lost inside your hum
In another universe I’m
Alright and feelin’ good
I’m drunk and misunderstood I’m
Wishing you would
Part III
In another universe I’m
Used up and all she wrote
I’m mailing letters to the Pope I’m
Rhyming and dead broke
In another universe I’m
Hopping trains and heading West
I’m bound for some great quest I’m
All and nothing less
In another universe I’m
Just singing to myself
I’m unsure and unimpressed I’m
Dreaming up the rest
On the Rocks
Do you know how many times I’ve heard that line
The one you’ve practiced all night long
The one I’ve learned to fake a non-response to?
I see your stare and let it simmer there
I count the cracks along the walls
The ones we fixed four thousand times before
CHORUS
You aren’t the first
Won’t be the last
You aren’t the first
Won’t be the last
That summer when you marked the days
That we made love trying to bring back our love
By making love a thing we made
These days I drink the minutes gone
Hours bore; I chase the silence all night long to
Toast an empty glass to
CHORUS
Tonight I drank alone at that corner bar
The one I don’t mind ‘cause it’s the one
That no one ever goes to
Somebody played a classic country song, and I
Remember when a song was something
I could fix my faith to
CHORUS
I stumble through the door, and all the lights are on
I feel you waiting up for me
And pour myself another drink
Once More With Feeling
I was trying to disappear
Become like the wind, the rain, the sky
I was trying on every fear
Searching for answers, lost in the night
CHORUS
Let there be hopeless faith
Let there be raging grace
Let there be diamonds from dust
Let there be love
Let there be cold embrace
Let there be formless shapes
Let there be the fondest hate
Let there be love
“The life of Man is a long march through the night, surrounded by invisible foes, tortured by weariness and pain, towards a goal that few can hope to reach, and where none may tarry long… Be it ours to shed sunshine on their path, to lighten their sorrows by the balm of sympathy, to give them the pure joy of a never-tiring affection, to strengthen failing courage, to instill faith in hours of despair. Let us not weigh in grudging scales their merits and demerits, but let us think only of their need — of the sorrows, the difficulties, perhaps the blindnesses, that make the misery of their lives.”
CHORUS
Of Gods and Men
Once upon a time
I moved in you — you moved me, too
The moon was still on fire
I sang alone on my throne
What was was still to come
I was the air; I was the choir
You danced to raise the sun
I am
The prayer
I am
The liar
Once upon a time
You drew the dark — you drew me, too
Words leapt from a spark
You named the stars, called the hours
What was was still to come
I was the air; I was the choir
You danced to raise the sun
I am
The prayer
I am
The liar
Once upon a time
The silence broke — heaven spoke
Your arms took shape as wings
We fell uncrowned toward the ground
You’re a Star
No matter how loud we yelled
At the screen we knew she wouldn’t — survive the scene
And who would have guessed that her short bloody dress would get auctioned
And who’s that fashioning a cross
In the corner while the extras — waltz to stir the slaughter?
Shouldn’t somebody tell them that we’re all just victims here, ohh yeah
Ahh — the horror
Ahh — the holy and the dumb
You’re a star now, baby
Smile for everyone
Under all that gold she wears
She’s canvass thick with makeup — the seraph of the war
The violence and envy we stash behind each noble gesture
And who’s that man in a mask
Walking slowly out of rhythm — a shrouded refugee?
Shouldn’t somebody tell him that we’re all just victims here, ohh yeah
Ahh — the horror
Ahh — the holy and the dumb
You’re a star now, baby
Smile for everyone
Like Any Other Man
With a dance you’d wrest devotion
I close my eyes and chase you there
But all I hear’s the rain ‘a coming
And those neighbors fight and swear
What I mean to say is
Those days were more than nothing
And getting harder to resolve
What I mean to say is
I wish you’d call
Those years went fast as lightning
Ain’t youth wasted on the young?
Now I go weeks without smiling
Your salt still on my tongue
What I mean to say is
Those days were more than nothing
And getting harder to resolve
What I mean to say is
I wish you’d call
There's that place in the kitchen
Where you’d sing and cut my hair
It haunts my recollection
And sits empty as a prayer
What I mean to say is
Those days were more than nothing
And getting harder to resolve
What I mean to say is
I wish you’d call
Ouroboros
I tried to fit the world in a song
Light: a particle, a wave
Dark delivered then bound and slain
Lost in patterns and names
You were right about the sound
It’s forged in shadows and flames
Paid in blood, born of desire
Echoed back to us in choir
We were born into light
Just threshers of stone
We were cast upon the shores
And forced to walk alone
I played the notes by heart
Life: a vision, a curse
Time a wheel spinning fate
Days wanting of weight
I tried to find my way back home
Hope: a dragon, a hearth
A war inspired then fought and lost
You were wrong about the cost
We were born into light
Just threshers of stone
We were cast upon the shores
And forced to walk alone
I tried to fit the world in a song
Somewhere Still
There’s a long time between being high and dying
There’s a sad note between being low and gone
There’s a misery felt between your heart and mine, dear
There’s a love lost deep somewhere still
There’s an ocean between the clever and lying
There’s a red moon between the sinner and the saved
There’s a tragedy hangin’ between your eyes and mine, dear
There’s a love lost deep sometime still
There’s a truth hiding somewhere on the page
There’s a grace lying somewhere on the trail
There’s beauty somewhere in this pain; I’m sure my dear
There’s a love lost deep somewhere still
There’s a bell tolling beyond the lost and forsaken
There’s a field beyond the sacred and profane
There’s a slow rolling thunder on your mind and mine, dear
There’s a love lost deep somewhere still
There’s a comfort beyond the shame and the pleasure
There’s a mountain beyond conviction and faith
There’s a mercy felt between your hopes and mine, dear
There’s a love lost deep somewhere still
There’s a truth hiding somewhere on the page
There’s a grace lying somewhere on the trail
There’s beauty somewhere in this pain; I’m sure my dear
There’s a love lost deep somewhere still
Somewhere still
Somewhere still
Somewhere still
Fall
It’s that time of the year again when trees catch fire
Your hands in sacred dance across the wire
Some verse I swore I knew but not the choir
You loved me you said but I never knew what that meant
It meant I should suffer and die for you
Which is nothing at all if you think about it anyway
Cause to live is to suffer and sing the blues
Does an ocean current deepen without sound?
Will the lonely beggar hang with the drowned?
Can the desert flower absolve evil ground?
You loved me you said but I never knew what that meant
It meant I should suffer and die for you
Which is nothing at all if you think about it anyway
Cause to live is to suffer and sing the blues
It’s that time of the year again when trees catch fire
I’m burning, burning, burn
And fade way
Last December
You haven’t even touched your eggs
And your coffee’s getting cold
Outside the snow is falling
I’d forgot we’re getting old
I’d forgot we’re getting old
Maybe it’s the burning trees
On the news tuned to a hum
Maybe it’s that aching notion
Or that call we’re waiting on
Feels like forever —
Ohh, forever
You didn’t even ask one question
You almost braved a smile
I managed to stare out the window
Growing angry like a child
I was angry like a child
Maybe it’s the pain before us
Or the snow this time of year
Maybe it’s that aching notion
That your smile turned into fear
Feels like forever —
Ohh, forever
You hadn’t even touched your eggs
And your coffee’d gotten cold
You got up to watch the TV
And left me here alone
You left me here alone
Feels like forever —
Ohh, forever
Sometimes Isn’t Always (And Good Advice Is Hard to Take)
Sometimes it's one foot in front of the other, and one day at a time
Sometimes feels like forever, and sometimes nothing rhymes
Always is never sometimes, but sometimes you get it right
So always drink old, good wine, and burn till you’re out of time
Yesterday we were young and hungry
Went and sold ourselves a lie
So we packed up all our junk in a van
And swore we’d never die
Now we have good jobs and bought a house
And sold those old guitars
And our cars shine like those old stale dreams
We swore we’d never buy
Sometimes it's one foot in front of the other, and one day at a time
Sometimes feels like forever, and sometimes nothing rhymes
Always is never sometimes, but sometimes you get it right
So always drink old, good wine, and burn till you’re out of time
When this TV show is over
Let’s head on up the stairs
To replay the same old tired scene
That getting us nowhere
But hey, tomorrow let’s map out a plan
And reclaim all we are
We’ll wave goodbye to all we have
That’s killing who we are
Sometimes it's one foot in front of the other, and one day at a time
Sometimes feels like forever, and sometimes nothing rhymes
Always is never sometimes, but sometimes you get it right
So always drink old, good wine, and burn till you’re out of time
Beyond Good and Evil
She said, “God is dead,” and took a long, slow sip
I used to love the smell of scotch and Nietzsche on her lips
When things got good, she’d be the first to go
Should have seen the pileup coming all those years ago
It was something in the way she moved her hips
And that unrepentant timbre and her soft eclipse
She had me beggin’ for a bite ‘fore the fruit was ripe
And a thousand-yard stare that fit my vision just right
It was cold May night about a decade back
When the neighbors called the cops ‘fore I drank my six-pack
Josie’s toys made him pause ‘fore he walked me outside
Sobered up an hour later, sick and tired
I found the test in the trash, such are vicious gifts
And her note in my book like a poet’s fist
Didn’t mean a thing then; doesn’t mean a thing still
Just more haunted lost souls in the killing fields
She said, “It’s not your fault,” and left her key in the door
I felt the wounds tear open bleeding from our silent war
She didn’t give me a name; didn’t give a goddamn
Just left a trace of nothing and a blue sedan
Some Other Fire
It must have been 2:00 AM
Ghosts rise in the darkest hour
Your pillow cold
Still smells like flowers
Was it in LA?
Long years melt into night
Weren’t we working in stone?
Weren’t we in a fight?
Where are you tonight?
Did you trade in your soul for silver and spite?
Where are you tonight?
We were a fool’s parade
You with your dull desire
While I buried the ashes
From some other fire
Staging odes to pain
You made your beauty a knife
That you stuck in my back
Now you’re his wife.
Where are you tonight?
Did you trade in your soul for silver and spite?
Where are you tonight?
It must be 2:00 AM
Ghosts rise in the darkest hour
Peace For All
What kind of poems did you speak
While the world fell fast asleep?
(Did you) shout or let the silence stand in for you?
Where your symbols broken bells
Or shapes deep from the well?
(Did you) cry or light a cigarette in mourning?
Da, Shantih, Shantih, Shantih, Om
Da, Shantih, Shantih, Shantih, Om
What kind of message did you leave
With no one there to grieve?
(Did you) laugh while the sacred became shadows?
Where your signs a pretty joke
Or a tongue you only spoke?
(Did you) see the works of your creation?
Da, Shantih, Shantih, Shantih, Om
Da, Shantih, Shantih, Shantih, Om